Many of those comments, all of which I’m trying to forget, were said or written in haste without thought. Or, in some cases, they were written in anger. Speaking or writing in anger, while perhaps therapeutic, is never a good idea. But it happens.
This column is about a couple of favorite phrases I’ve used that were well meaning and not uttered in anger. But I still regret them. They are: “Let the experts do it” and “I have a plan.”
I made the first comment — “Let the experts do it” — to my wife Sherry some years back when we were scheduled to attend a potluck dinner in the next day or two. She was working full time as a teacher, and I didn’t want to see her come home from work the night of the potluck and have to hurriedly prepare a dish to take before going to the dinner.
Figuring some suitable dish to take was waiting for us at a deli, I said, “Let’s pick something up at a deli. Why bother cooking? Let the experts do it.”
My wife is a great cook. She takes pride in her cooking. My comment, which she thought suggested that she is not capable in the kitchen but deli cooks — the experts — are, has been brought up regularly to me since then.
My words, spoken way back when in good faith but not carefully chosen, have haunted me for years.
My other comment – “I have a plan” — also has been uttered by me many times with no malice intended. But it, too, has come back to haunt me many times.
The comment usually comes up when Sherry and I have differing ideas as to how to solve a particular problem. I’ll tell her I don’t think her idea will work, but fear not because, “I have a plan.”
Unfortunately, more times than not when I’ve said, “I have a plan,” my plan fails miserably and it does so in her full view.
That’s when my bride will say, “Tell me again about that plan you have.”
This summer, I’ve looked after my grandkids, Harrison and Marin, from the time they got off the bus from Day Camp at midday until their mother picked them up after work.
One day I fed them Lunchables for lunch. After the kids had gone home, I noticed some of the crackers from the Lunchables container were in the wastebasket. They were on top and touching some paper – nothing nasty – so I ate them.
The next time the kids returned, I told them I had found some crackers in the trash after their prior visit. I said if they didn’t want their crackers in the future, to please put them on the kitchen counter instead of throwing them away and someone would eat them.
Harrison said, “Oh, those were Marin’s crackers. She doesn’t like them, but she licks the salt off of them, then throws them away.”
At Walcott Trust and Savings Bank’s annual customer appreciation luncheon, the bank’s Cal Werner was the emcee.
While having trouble reading the name of a door prize recipient, he said, “You know you’re getting old when two things happen: You have to wear cheater glasses to read. And when you’re running, people who are walking pass you up.”
That’s true, Cal. And I could add to the list.
Copyright 2013 by Phil Roberts, Creative Enterprises. This piece was submitted as a column to The North Scott Press.